Okay so… little update.I went BACK to the ER again 2 nights ago and ended up spending all day in the hospital yestersay. They made me drink 10 32 oz powerades, pumped 9 bags of fluid into me, and sent me home 25 lbs heavier filled with water. I found out I have a gall bladder problem, might have a kidney problem, and well, that something is messed up. The reason why all my organs are struggling is because when I was in the worst of my Celiacs at 78 lbs, it majorly damaged all my organs because nothing was being absorbed. So... all this has made me super frustrated because all along I've wanted to do CBL... it's just, when I did that diet, my body basically said HELLO NO and sent me through a tailspin. I feel like I've been through Hell and back again. And with all that said, a few take aways and please don't try to convince me otherwise in regards to fat. It's just not in the cards for me. I can not have bacon, butter, cheese, cottage cheese, fatty cuts of beef, or anything in the like. I also have to continue to vigilantly avoid gluten and dairy so I don't do any more damage to my GI Tract. In the hospital, I was considering just giving up on the whole CBL diet and going back to my diet before and just forget this... but the thing is, my spirit won't let me. You all have exposed me to a way to achieve the body and muscles of my dreams, so I can't give up.About 130... here's the thing. For a long time I clung to 110 like insane. Nothing would make me let go. But today, walking around with 20+ lbs of water weight, with clothes on, I actually LIKED the way I looked!!!! Granted without clothes on, my tummy is flat and all ab definition that was once there is GONE.. temporarily anyways. It's all jiggly which means its all water- call me a power puff girl. Lol. But its slowly going down. 10 32 oz bottles of powerade and 9 bags of fluid would do that. But I was thinking, if I like how I look NOW, WOW.... what would I look like at 130 if I were vascular and it was all MUSCLE???!!!!! Holy moly I'd be smokin.  So with all that said, I've made some decisions today.I'm going to eat egg whites and chicken and veggies up to my workout, and then I'm just going to eat abundantly. Not going to worry about how best the carbs are for backloading or anything. Most likely I will be eating a lot of banana babies as those agree with me.. But after my workout I'll have my shake and then a bunch of those, and then (going against Keifers advice) have my normal bedtime snack of oatmeal blueberries and egg whites. I need that fiber to keep me regular.... quite simply. I also know my body best and know that my diet before this was getting me great results, a low body fat and it helped me build muscle up to a point, which was 110. Now, all I think I need is to add in a good amount more of carbs PW, which will help me build muscle. Not going to complicate it. I'm also deciding to STOP counting calories (crazy for me to do- I've been doing that for years and have limited myself to 1600-1800 cals and freaked out if I go over) and I'm going to just stop worrying and enjoy life. It's been 3 years in the making and I can't believe I am actually saying I want to be 130 but I do... in muscle... Wow wow wow.... dream come true. And for the record, I feel sexy right now. I love it.